Message Monday

The technique in your kitten spooning photo is just completely off. On the white cat one arm is wrapped around the neck death grip—that's a recipe for a blocked airway right there—and the hips are angled away from the other cat. That's a classic sign of lack of interest and likely relationship deterioration and unexpressed anger. 3/5 stars. Is this feline amateur night or something?

Did you ever wonder if Gambit and Michelangelo would secretly make out when you weren't around?

The Busted Grill

There once was a schmo from wherever,
For whom braces were not a worthy endeavor.
Had Joe Lieberman's face,
Spoke at a staggering pace,
And I hope that I hear from him never.

Mr. Chalupa

Your name is that of a Mexican food,
Your picture was of  you reclining nude,
We learned about space, ate fancy fodder,
From the start this was dead in the water.

Message Monday

I'm no gambit more of a wolverine but will that work for you

The local

We're two blocks apart
We took a two hour long stroll
Grilled cheese, cupcakes, drinks

Upon our date's end
You said "Maybe I'll see you
On the train sometime."

The nine-fingered man

In the midst of sex
I saw you lacked a finger
I nearly panicked